Julie 的个人资料Trembling in the Mystery照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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10月19日 Smooth Moves.I attended my first belly dance class last night. I was talking to Rosyln on messenger after I got home and tried to explain some of the moves we were learning. One of which involves moving your entire torso in a giant wave using your upper and lower abs to follow your spine in an uninterupted flowing S movement. She said it sounded HOT and I had to tell her that it didn't appear so sexy when you performed the move with your tounge half out and your face contorted while grunting.
I met a really nice lady, who appeared to be in her fifties. she had a short, structured haircut and soft, all white hair. Her face was framed by large ornate dangling earrings and her hips were wrapped in a silky black scarve adorned with mini metal coins that made soft, metalic sounds as she shimmied. She promptly walked over to me at the beginning of the class and tied a multi colored, fringed scarve around my waist, explaining that it made the movements look more graceful. I'm sure I proved her wrong by the end of the class. A few of the women offered me encouragement after the class. I was touched by the supportive atmosphere. These women seem hell bent on transforming confused newcomers into graceful, sensual masters of an ancient art they've come to love. There is a performance at the end of November, and although I plan to continue with the weekly classes I WILL NOT be participating in the performance. Trevor says I'm chicken. I prefer to save the last ounce of pride I emerged with after stepping outside of the overheated, mirrored, glittery classroom. 10月13日 For Gracie.I'm sitting at my computer eating an english muffin slathered with cream cheese and black current jam. I just finished another day at work. My days seem to bleed into one another and I wonder if it is worse to feel too little or too much.
I received an email from my ex's mother yesterday. the subject line read, "I miss you sweet girl" The email was a general update and the declaration that no matter what, we are still family. I miss them. I will always love them.
The funeral home called last week. My mothers headstone has finally been set into the ground. I'm torn between the excitement of having somewhere to go to talk to and honor her and wishing that I could keep denying the finality a little longer.
I haven't yet come to a full understanding of what satisfaction means. It seems that there is always something to long for, and in the absence of longing life can be pretty mundane.
I've noticed a change in myself, it is a simple one. It is the loss of a measure of innocence. I don't view the world in the same way. I don't need in the same way. I don't hurt as much anymore, but I don't feel as much either. But, life is a series of tradeoffs.
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